Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Great Faucet of Doriath

And in those days, King Thingol dwelt in his mansions of Menegroth in the kingdom of Doriath, which is called North Raleigh in the tongues of Men. His queen, Melian, had great foresight after the manner of the Maiar, and it was her wish that the kitchen should be remodeled. Cabinets were hewn of hardwoods, and adorned were they with finest hardware. The origin of the counter tops is lost in the mists of antiquity; some say the solid surface was wrought by Fëanor himself, and the Elves call it Corian.
During this great labour King Thingol took thought, and it was his desire that his faucet would be the greatest in all of Beleriand. He spoke with the Dwarves of Khazad-dûm and bade them fashion for him a mightier faucet than had ever risen from their smithies before.
The brown-clad courier arrived with the Faucet, and Thingol was well pleased with the handiwork of the Dwarves. It was wrought of mithril, and more than one score inches did it tower above the Corian.
So was the kitchen in Menegroth enriched. The Orcs feared and cursed the Faucet, and never did they approach it. With the modifications to the P-Traps and successful reinstallation of the garbage disposal did Thingol's glory wax to the fullest, and there was gladness and wine in those times.

Yet, the tiling remained...

4 comments:

Scott said...

Mighty indeed is the Great Faucet!

Sleepwalker said...

**LMAO** (before swooning at the towering majesty)

eretria said...

How long did it take you to come up with that text? *g*
But, wheee! Cool.

Jon said...

hmmm.

Who'da thunkit, faucet envy? It does exist.