Sharp and Indispensable II: The Reckoning

(listening to In Through the Out Door by Led Zeppelin, drinking Bass Pale Ale)

Let us say you've purchased a couple of knives: a decent chef's knife and paring knife, as I mentioned in my previous post, and a bread knife. You can get away with a less expensive bread knife, because bread slicing is a less exact science. Dexter-Russell is often seen in restaurant kitchens. It's a good value. Of course, an expensive, forged one feels nice.

Anyway, you've got your knives. It is now time to pay the piper. You have to take care of them, or they will become dull. Dull knives are bad because they mutilate the item you're trying to cut, and they are dangerous because you have to apply more force to make them cut. This raises the chance of losing control of the blade. Dull knives are more dangerous than sharp ones. If you're still afraid of cutting yourself, buck up or get the hell out of the kitchen.

Here are some cardinal rules:
1)With very few exceptions, roommates are evil, cookware-ruining savages. They overheat and scrape Teflon pans, leave wooden utensils sitting in filthy dishwater, and abuse knives. Hide your cookware, don't try to own any cookware, or threaten them with a violent death if they fuck up your stuff. Cut off a finger with your new chef's knife to make the point to them. People with no respect for others' property really piss me off.

2)Don't put knives in the sink. They bang and scrape against the side, causing dulling, and dishwater-obscured knives can cause a quick trip to the emergency room.

3)Don't put knives in the dishwasher. The heat screws up the handles, and they bang against other utensils.

4)Don't try to resharpen them. If you use a steel on your knives every two or three sessions of cutting, they will not need to be resharpened. I have had some of my knives for years, and they have never seen a sharpening stone. A knife steel is not a sharpener. It keeps the edge in alignment, and it knocks down any burrs. In fact, I had a knife (an inexpensive Farberware chef's knife, stamped steel) for at least six years. I gave it to my friend Luis (Don Luisito) because he needed a sharp knife in his kitchen. One evening, we spent an enjoyable four hours in the emergency room together after he nearly cut his fingertip off. It was a sharp knife. It was an accident, too; Don Luisito is not a careless man. Unless you chop gravel often, a knife steel is all you need.

5)Electric sharpeners grind your knife away. Avoid them. Diamond sharpening steels do, too.

I like my knives, but my natural lust for shiny toys makes me want more. I have a few expensive pocket knives, but the most expensive knife in my kitchen cost $43 (the Spanish-made Henckels chef's knife). There are some other things I want to get if I ever get a real job, but I have knives that would do fine against any professional chef's (probably, but I suppose some have full-time knife valets). My stuff is pretty sharp.